How to manage children who act out

How to manage children who act out
Being a parent today can be challenging, especially when managing Millennials. As time passes, more complex issues will arise when matters are left ignored during their adolescence. Often parents will seek intervention for their child when it is too late. By that point, the child may have turned to bad company for comfort, abusing substance to relieve stress or they may have shut down emotionally and physically from their loved ones. 

Getting your child to share their problems with you may not be as straightforward when the underlying issues are of a sensitive nature to your child. The last thing you want is for your child to become disengaged from you and risk having a broken family in the future. It is important to approach the matter at hand with caution and an objective mind.
Be their friend
Before you start punishing your child, find out what is the cause of their behaviour. Find a time to sit down with your child and befriend them. Understand the reasons from their perspective instead of the ‘parent’s perspectives’. Analyse if their basic needs are met, and whether they are acting out for attention. The moment your child sense that they will be getting more troubles instead of assurance from their parents, they may withdraw themselves from the situation.
Acceptance of their issue
Acknowledge that your child may have certain flaws. While emotions can get the better of you, there must be a certain degree of controlled anger towards your child. Too much anger and your child may feel ridiculed and traumatised; letting the matter rest and you child may repeat the same mistake. Instead of reprimanding them for being wrong wrong, validate the child’s fear and wrongdoings. Let them know that it is acceptable to discuss with you about their troubles.
Building connection and a safe environment your child
Some issues faced by your child may be too painful for them to confront and some are hidden in their subconscious. As a result, they might find it hard to express their emotions. If you notice your child is being defensive or resisting, recognize that they are protecting themselves. As parents, you will need to raise the child’s awareness of these issues with proper skill and care to avoid creating further trauma for your child.
The trust between parents and the child has to be mutual. While it is the parent’s job to instil respect and good values in them, it is also the parent’s duty to respect the child’s emotions. Active listening and valuing the information shared by the child will bolster the relationship. When the child grows up respected, they are more able to confide in and trust their parents with their issues and emotions. 

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