They say letting go is hard. There is some degree of truth to it. We cling onto people who affect us negatively; often hoping they will change or we can help them change for the better. We stay in situations that damage our emotional and psychological well-being, in fear that there might not be anything else left for us outside of this thing we hold onto.
This could be staying at a job that we have no love for. It could be staying with an emotionally, psychologically, or even physically abusive partner. It could even be holding onto our own thoughts and emotions until it negatively affects our own mental and emotional state.
Many people do hold onto their thoughts and feelings for too long. This can cause resentment, damage our own well-being, and cause division between our friends, family, and colleagues. Letting go is not easy but with some effort, you can work towards maintaining a better emotional and mental state.
Focus on the present
Things that happen to and around us, and the thoughts and emotions that come with the situation are meant to be in the moment. They are temporary, and eventually will pass. After that you’re supposed to move on and live your life. When you hold onto a thought and feeling, you are dragging it back from the past into the present; allowing something that has already passed to affect you in the present. This doesn’t allow you much room to move forward when you keep holding onto the past.
Focus on the present, and what you need to do now. Keeping yourself busy is also a great way to stay in the present. Many people who have a lot of free time end up falling into the trap of ruminating and over-thinking.
Often, holding onto something is due to our own hurt feelings. We may have felt slighted or wronged in some way and end up focussing on that. Interpersonal relationships come with conflicts that we have to deal with and resolve. Part of this is having the courage to seek a resolution. Instead of bottling up the negative feelings, talk about it, tell the person how you feel or confide in someone. Once you start dealing with your negative thoughts and emotions, it makes it easier to forgive the person or to forgive yourself for your own reaction or actions.
Keep in mind that people often don’t intentionally mean to slight us or hurt us. Sometimes we misinterpret intention. Sometimes we even misinterpret events to be something it never was. There are so many pitfalls that we can fall into.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about your deepest emotions, and discover how you can help yourself and your loved ones overcome their fears, disappointments, and life challenges in order to build a more meaningful, and happier life.
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