It may not seem like one should have to tell you how to find your happiness, but sometimes you do have to be pointed in the right direction to find what makes you happy so you can go for it. The big question is: What makes you happy?
Is it just a feeling inside you something else?
Happiness, like all intangible things, means something different to each person you ask. If you ask someone what a basketball is, you would get consistent answers that it is an orange inflated ball, and it bounces. Now if you ask someone what happiness means, that could get anything from spending time with family, to having kids, to taking naps, to partying at the club all night, or any of an infinite number of answers. Happiness is something different to each person and your quest is to find what makes you happy, and to do more of that.
Happiness is what brings you enjoyment, yes, and even pleasure. It also should give you energy and motivation, and not leave you feeling worn out and exhausted. Also, happiness should leave you feeling good in a healthy sense of the word, and not feeling sick, restless, or upset.
In order to find your happiness, let’s start looking at the outcomes of events or behaviors, and your reaction to it. Start by paying attention to how you feel after you do something. Do you feel invigorated and alive? Or do you feel nauseous and ashamed? The key is to start paying attention to how you feel both mentally and physically after something happens. For example, think about how you feel every time you go running. Is it adding a benefit to you? Do you feel satisfied and happy? Whatever the answer, doing more of what provides you with satisfaction is what you need.
Now, obviously there are things you need to do more of even if you do not like them, like going to the dentist. And there are things that you cannot do because they are illegal or unethical. Also, most anything should be done in an appropriate moderation. Running, for example, should not be done every day for 20 miles a day as that would get dangerous to your health, even if it brings you a lot of joy. What all of this should tell you is to start to pay attention to how you feel after you do something and start to correlate what you feel with what just happened. If you do not like how you feel, then do that less, and more important, if you like how you feel, start to do that more often. Life will become much more enjoyable after that.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about your deepest emotions, and discover how you can overcome your fears, disagreements, and challenges in order to build a happier life for yourself and your loved ones.
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