Poets, philosophers and scientists have been trying to solve the great mystery of what love is. So far noone have been able to adequately describe it’s ephemeral and powerful nature, but all have been able to touch on some aspects of it.
Let’s look at some of the basic aspects of love to learn more about what it is, and how you can see the love in your relationship and others. It might shock or surprise.
It’s easiest to think of love as a triangle.
- One side of it is friendship. It is easiest to be around people that we like, and our friends are the people we like. In other words, there has to be something about the person we like that keeps us our time with them enjoyable and interesting, even when the other parts are not as strong.
- The next side is passion, attraction, or even just sexual chemistry. We don’t all love our friends and stay in relationships with them. There is a little something else here that separates just pure friendship from romantic love. Having that spark, passion or physicality to it takes what could just be a strong friendship, and turns it into romance and love.
- Lastly, for love and relationship, there has to be a commitment to each other. A mutual agreement, desire, and decision to be with each other is the final piece that separates any other relationship from a strong romantic one. We stay true to one another and keep together because we believe this is the person we are supposed to be with, through hard time, and good.
There is no particular order to build this foundation of a happy romantic relationship. Many strong marriages have been started by people flirting with the attractive stranger in the grocery store, not knowing anything about them other than they were also shopping for fruit. Some cultures practice arranged marriages where families marry off children together without them knowing each other before their wedding, and they are able to form strong, loving relationships out of that.
What is clear is that love, a relationship, and romance will take time and effort. Although many have tried to define it, what we can do is describe it as best we can objectively. It has attraction, friendship and commitment working together to form a strong bond. The mystery of its magic, however, still happily remains.
Join us at College of Allied Educators to learn more about emotions like love and discover what that may mean for your life and happiness.
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